Zen rules for better living

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just bugger off and leave me alone.
2. THe joureny of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flatTyRe.
3. Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.
4. Don't aspire to become IrRePlaceAble. If you can't be replaced, you Can't be Promoted.
5. REmember, no one is listening until you let on rip.
6. Never FOrget that you are unique, liKe EvEryOne else.
7. Never Test the depth of the water with BOth Feet.
8. If you think nobody care whether you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of rEnt Payment.
9. If at first you don't succeed, AvoiD SKydiVing.
10. Have you ever lent someone a 20 and never seen that person again? It was probably WOrth it.
11. If You tell the Truth, You don't Have to RemEmber AnythinG.
12. Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bAd JudgemeNt.
13. When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our bum. From there on in, LiFe GeTs wOrsE.

Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.

Sources: Griffith 'The liTtle Black book 2008'